Ancilliaries of the walks

This page is dedicated to capturing the essence of the walks by divulging the various events and happenings that have occured to date.


Having walked approx. 1 hour decided the walk was going to be too short, so extended it, to go to the Wye cross memorial, via Devil's Kneading Trough. This was to extend the walk by roughly 1.5 miles. Instead we got completely lost and ended up in Crundale, some 3 miles in the wrong direction, so made haste and route marched back down the roman path back to BODSHAM - which extend the walk by about 5 miles. On reaching Timber Batts had to remove boots and bags, and then had a huge labrador sitting at our table for lunch. Had a trauma with the dinner, asked for Ham to be added and it came out without, and restaurant bit is now french run. After dinner the heavens opened and we got drenched.



After stopping for lunch at the Woolpack Inn (Some 6 pints later) decided to continue walking. Started on Saxon Shore Way, going through cemetry opposite pub, and got lost. Had to back track back to pub and start again, where we then picked up the trail again. After 20 mins, in a rather worst for wear state, decided to stop next to Royal Military Canal for tea... Fell fast asleep for 1 hour. Continued the walk after that nap, kicked a few cow pats, went up the road to next village (can't remember the name of it) then got lost (AGAIN) ended up having to jump over a canal. Could see the windmill of Woodchurch in the distance, so headed directly for it as the crow flies, literally rambling along any field we came across (no dissernable footpaths) finally found our bearings when we reached the rare breeds centre (some 2 miles off the planned route !)



After stopping for lunch at the Rose and Crown (some 7 pints later) decided to continue the walk at approx. 14:45. Managed to walk 1 mile then decided to have afternoon nap -  1.5 hours worth. Continued walk and once again got lost. This time 3 miles in the wrong direction - extending the walk by 2 hours.



From the very start of the walk from the train station platform to The Ugly Duckling pub, SH started having wind. This contiuned through out the entire walk, only to culminate in an awesome belch during game 6 of the cribbage after pint number 5. Butcombe Gold was on tap. Before reching the pub, the field from Walmer to Coldblow was somewhat of a jungle, capturing SH feet with every stride. "They were like bloody hands grabbing my ankles, bastard farmer"




1. BULLS, bloody great big ones, and a certain someone (who's name will not be mentioned)   was a little unhappy to walk through the said BULL's field, so had to change route slightly.

2. Waldershare Park - with Church and grounds - loads of Chestnuts !

3. Conker Trees and twanging said conkers with walking stick

4. Pub was serving a limited menu, couldn't smoke in pub and there was a huge bloke on a quad bike and the local loony was out, shouting the odds at us through the window.

5. No taxi service, so had to walk back to Shepherdswell and get a Connex Train from London to Dover.

6. Stop off at 8 Bells in Dover for a further 3 pints making a running total of 7 for the day.

7. Bussed back to Deal or Elms Vale, SP accosted by the Deal mad man and would not leave him alone.

8. Stopped off at the Railway pub in Walmer 'en route' for a further couple of pints.

9. Walked back in the dark to Ripple - got home at 22:21 and passed out on getting back to one's humble abode !




From the start it was none too good as SP was still suffering from an almighty hangover from the pub quiz the night before. Anyway as it happened...


1. Walked in wrong direction completely and ended up at The Old Yew Tree at Bafrestone, which we knew quite well from the last Main Walk.

2. Started to drizzle a bit

3. At Three Barrows Down went wrong way, by side or railway tracks and ended up at Snowdown

4. Back on track - finally on North Downs Way

5. Stopped at Barham roundabout to take in the views and saw a million and one pheasants all scrambling about and launching themselves in to the air in a clucking flurry.

6. Coming out the back end of Cold Harbour, saw a huge disused mining pit - which was nice.

7. Walking down the final stretch to Garrington farm (which was amazing to look at) saw some chap in a field on a quad bike with some strange contraption on the back, spreading blue stuff.

8. After lunch, got lost trying to find way through Howletts zoo and made it to the train (by way of running and jumping of a fence) with less than 5 seconds to spare.




1. The ominous, "I think the path is just up here, and err... nah, I'm sure it won'tbe muddy" uttered quietly by SP on approaching St Mary's church, Capel-Le-Ferne.

2. Being allowed in to St Mary's Church, 11th century church in the middle of a field, means Chapel in the Ferns.

3. Bloody great big holes in the said field above, probably badgers

4. Hockley Sole wall about to fall in the road

5. Hockley Sole Manor House  & Gardens

6. Rolling apple down the road from Old Hawkinge

7. Big bloke knocking over his table in the Valiant Sailor

8. Bloody Yellow van going past us 3 times on the same road - DHL to be specific.

9. Staggering back to bus stop via Battle of Britain memorial

10. Talking like Sir Chumly Walner, whilst waiting for the bus.




1. Set off on this route at break neck speed, unbeknown to SP, but, SH soon let SP know this - slowed down thereafter.

2. SH had wind AGAIN !

3. House in the middle of nowhere with no driveway. Oh, yes there is.

4. Magnificent stop at Betteshanger church and house. Gladstone and Rupert Brooke.

5. Tilmanstone... Hmmmmm.... Got BLOODY lost again.

6. Fantastic Church.

7. SP attacked bird a feathery friend, which decorating his new T-shirt - not happy bunny !

8. An amzing disappearing dog


10. No Sodding discernable footpath.

11. Discussion about lunch, which SH stated must contain a bit of crunchiness.

12. LOVELY food and beer at the Yew Tree at Barfrestone. 10/10 !!!

13. SH queried SP's route directions on way back, which was justified bearing in mind SP did get the party lost again.

14. Train station not open and ticket machine broken.

15. 0845 number to call to advise the train company of this fact, which puts you through to an Indian chap called Dave.




1. SP tripped up 4 times.

2. Police van stopped in road, while the police officer watched a Golden Eagle have it's prey in the field.

3. SH ducked as Eagle took flight - big jessy !

4. Discarded tractor didn't look out of place.

5. 2 x Blackcap birds leading the way, bobbing up and down the hedgerow.

6. Saw a badger with a pheasant.

7. Bloody great Redwood Trees in The Grove, made you dizzy when you look at them.

8. Lost in The Grove.

9. SP suffered badly with upset stomach.

10. SH won cribbage - JUST !!!!

11. SH took us down wrong road, cos some git had played about with road signs.

12. Incubus, Rocket and one other real ale, were very nice.


PL stayed in pub - then got a taxi home (only 20 min walk home)

Discussion about PUSSYCATS - costings/menu/side salads

Got lost (slightly)

Stopped to read map - turned round to see hundred's of sheep that came from nowhere !

Got so dark, had to use RA's mobile phone as a torch



Speed walking caused SP major sweating !!!

Renaming of Cat & Mustard Pot to Cat & Custard Pot - the reason behind it discussion

The GM HyWire prototype car - running on seawater - discussion

4 Pints of Spitfire later . . . .

PL gets taxi home

GB requested torch be turned off

GB & RA stopping for a jimmy on roadside

The never ending field after the hairy scarey horny cows

Curry and chips, instead of eating in pub



1.Got lost at start - CTRL line has killed footpath

2.GB losing footing in quagmire along bridleway near GREEN house (was PINK)

3.Renamed CTRL - our version = Crap Tracks / Routes Layout

4.Going up a path to Elham Vally Way, blow-up Tennis Court, route killed

5.New Elham Vally Way path (V. spectacular)

6.Sandling station locked-up - had to climb through fence and up a tree

7. Elham Valley Way not signposted, resulted in having to walk up the slip road of M20.

8. Bizarre footpath location on slip road of M20 heading towards Postling.


10. COWS - GB scaring them off with his 'lightsabre' - (SP's torch actually)

11. 'Pinballed' in a field with V. heavy kissing gates

12. Etchinghill - "ooh, there's Grace Jones haircut hedge again"

13. Shetland Pony and Big Horse (came from nowhere)